This is a common mis-conception my clients, friends or contacts have about me:
'You must be so chilled.'
'You have your life so together.'
'It must be nice to have Reiki/ Crystal healing/ Reflexology/ Aromatherapy whenever you want.'
And I'm not alone - it's a common theme amongst my 'healing' friends. It adds massively to our sense of imposter syndrome ('who am I to be doing this work?') Our sense of just not feeling, well - good enough! It sounds contrary but this is actually what makes us good at what we do. Our humility and sense of inadequacy keeps our life real and allows us to reach our clients, because if we all started realising our full healing potential it could very quickly become an ego trip to heal people and feed into that 'jesus complex' I spoke about on my instagram TV video rant the other day! We aren't special and if we start to think we are, it detracts from the gifts we have to share.
I posted a jokey selfie yesterday, stating that I felt like a 'fake' in my professional therapists uniform. What I meant by that was I don't feel as grown up as I look. (You know, like that moment when you're out with the kids and something goes wrong and you look behind you or around for an adult, only to realise its you?)
The post started me thinking (dangerous!!) and as I always endeavour to be completely honest with my clients, I thought I would share.
I don't have it all together. The people in my life aren't miraculously cured of any 'life shit' they have to deal with!
My relationships take hard work, communication and patience. My kids are hard work, and regularly test my communication and patience!!
My family and loved ones still struggle with their health and their well being. My mum has chronic health conditions and limited mobility that I can't 'heal'. My nephew and uncle are battling cancer - which again I can't 'heal' or 'cure'. It is a perpetual source of anguish, frustration and tears for me that I can't 'fix' everyone. That shitty cards get dealt to good people.
But you do have to recognise in this work that it simply isn't possible to heal everything and everyone! All we can do is try to improve situations where we can and trust in the ripple and karmic effect of that healing.
Working so closely with my Angels and intuition over the years has taught me to become very self aware. I understand now that when I first started this healing journey, on a conscious level, it was about wanting to heal my friends, family and loved ones around me. I wanted to help all the broken people that were around me and make them feel good, whole and complete. But on a sub-conscious level this journey has always been about healing myself.
That is something I have been able to do.
I have successfully treated myself for frozen shoulder, (a prelude to arthritis!) sciatica, endometriosis, vertigo, anxiety and depression. I've healed and released emotional traumas that I've gone through. I've successfully treated and continue to treat an auto-immune condition which is currently in remission!!
I don't have a perfect, 'zen' life. I have a real life, with daily struggles. Yes I have some extra skills in my tool kit to deal with the shit life throws at us, but in the same way as a builders extension is never finished on his own home, or a hair dresser is often in need of a trim and conditioning treatment - our own healing often comes at the bottom of the list, because often our healing work is given away more than it is used at home.
Ultimately this is my work! It is my job and it is something I am good at and feel fulfilled by, so I couldn't just give it up or get a 'proper job'. it is part of who I am to try and help people; maybe because I have been 'broken' too and I remember vividly what that feels like.
Whilst a therapist/ 'healer' can't cure you and wave a magic wand. What we can do is allow you space, time and the healing tools to help restore your body and your well being to health.
So, who helps the healer?
I do. I take responsibility for my own wellness. By healing and continually working on myself, I have the vitality, and well being to continue to provide healing and therapies to others and to keep moving forward on this healing journey. Email me to start your healing journey and we can have a chat about what your needs are and what therapies would suit. Much Love, Bex xx